The Polygamist's Daughter

Stories, Reflections and Conclusions of Life on the Inside


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Women Are Responsible?

I’m working on the final edit of Fly, Fly Away before sending if off for proofreading and publication.  This particular chapter has been difficult to word and work from loving and non-judgmental perspective because so much of it is so far from where I now stand.

The purpose of this book isn’t to judge the lifestyle and belief system of my childhood. Rather it is to teach what I experienced and why I needed to find my own truth, following the will of my soul, rather than the religion created by men in the understanding of their own truth. It is to inspire readers to search within themselves for their own truth and understanding, and perhaps see a bit of themselves in the story of this little girl in search of greater love.

… While it wasn’t said in so many words, the message that women are responsible for men’s irresponsible behavior, and women are to blame for the sins of men, was unmistakably implied. As women we had the great burden of controlling men’s thoughts and actions because they could not resist our temptations. In the Old Testament women were taught to dress in modest apparel, with no jewelry or costly array but to adorn themselves with good works and suppression. There it was in ancient history – a good and godly woman keeps her mouth shut, mind closed and her body unadorned.

On the flip-side of this dichotomy was the belief that men were more powerful, intelligent and self-directed than women, so much so, that women were not intelligent and responsible enough for their own decisions. We were so lacking in wisdom and intellect that we could not navigate this life, or the next, without a man’s guidance and control.

This dichotomy, among many others, made me question whether any of it was true, and yet, because I always been told to never question, I assumed it must be true, even when it felt like a direct assault to my very being…

This belief that women are responsible for men’s behavior still plays out in cultures all over the world. What women choose to wear in their own comfort as a reflection of who they are, is in no way responsible for how men choose to act. We are growing up, slowly, and beginning to understand that no person is responsible for another person’s behavior.

Until next time, be Fearless & Free!

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Discovery Investigation on Polygamy Living

Recently I was invited by the Discovery Channel to be an expert authority on the subject of polygamy. This was for an investigative story surrounding Sean Goff, a man of God who murdered one of his wives. While I personally have not had the suffering (what others might call joy) of sharing my husband, which by the way, I find the dichotomy of suffering and joy to be seriously twisted, I have seen enough polygamy in my life to understand the basis behind it.

It was my intent with this interview simply to shed light on polygamy and not to condone or support it as a lifestyle choice. I will let my friend Kristyn Decker be the expert on the lifestyle and what it feels like to be in and out of it. Personally I don’t like the feeling of againstness – it just doesn’t feel good in my heart. My purpose is to bring lightheartedness into everything I touch and hopefully open the space for others to see the ridiculousness in many of their beliefs and choices. Speaking from personal experience of course…

Whew, after viewing the footage I am glad to see that in the editing process my words were not twisted into anything they were unintended for. You never know what will end up on the cutting room floor or manipulated to move a story a particular direction.

If you don’t have the opportunity to view the entire show on Investigation Discovery, here is a link to view a few short clips. This guy lost his connection to God somewhere – the mind has a way of doing that when ego takes the reins. And no, he was not any kind of Mormon. He was a “Christian Polygamist.” And yes, he justified his lifestyle by the Old Testament.

http://investigation.discovery.com/tv-shows/deadly-devotion/deadly-devotion-videos/polygamy-living.htm