The Polygamist's Daughter

Stories, Reflections and Conclusions of Life on the Inside


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An Idle Mind Is A Tool Of The Devil…Not

“An idle mind is a tool of the devil” was one of the greatest misconceptions of my childhood. I’m pondering this morning on the subject of guilt, particularly on the subject of religious guilt. It was such a part of my childhood that it was the driving force behind my low-self esteem.

Even as a child my mind wondered into spiritual concepts and understanding what could not be explained by my parents religious dogma. They believed that their religion held every answer to every conceivable question, that it left “no stone unturned and no question left unanswered,” and therefore, any concept outside of their particular religion was a misconception from the devil attempting to tempt me and lead me astray.

I felt guilty for not having a testimony of our religion being the only true religion. I felt guilty for not getting up in church and telling people I believed the church to be true. I felt guilty for not believing everything I heard at church and in our religious teachings at school. I felt guilty for doubting God’s only truth. l felt guilty for allowing myself to have an idle mind that tempted me with other spiritual awareness. I felt guilty for my gifts of understanding concepts that were not taught to me by my leaders. I could not explain how I knew what I knew and felt guilty for knowing, because thinking for myself was seen as temptation. I felt so guilty for having spiritual gifts that I shut them down and tried to believe in, “the only right way.” But I never really bought into it and felt guilty for not following God’s pre-approved plan. Guilt in essence broke my heart and shut down my gifts of inspiration, all because I quieted my mind instead of keeping it busy with school and approved religious studies.

What I came to recognize a few years ago is that an idle mind is a tool for inspiration. It opens us up to higher concepts, allows the imagination to spur creation and forwards our individual and collective evolution. It is simply a matter of what we choose to tap into and focus on. I let go of guilt a long time ago and came to fully embrace the gifts of understanding that are a part of having an idle mind.

An idle mind is your greatest tool for inspiration. Quiet the chatter in your mind, allow yourself to question everything and listen for your truth to reveal itself to you.


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Getting Stoned

For me, getting stoned has a completely different frame of reference than it probably does for most people. It really has to do with being stoned. 

I almost never remember my dreams but this one stuck with me. I had a dream last night about a young giraffe. It had done something wrong and was standing in the dirt and tied to a tall Palm tree unable to move. A group of men were standing around it and throwing rocks at it to punish it for what it had done. In the dream I stood off to the side watching helplessly. I thought to myself, “That poor giraffe, I wonder how it feels not knowing why people are throwing rocks at it.” Then a voice in my head said, “You know exactly how it feels, remember.”

Then I woke up and realized that I was the giraffe. A memory from my childhood young_giraffe_on_white_background_600came flooding back. I recall I was around eleven years old. Some people called me a giraffe because of my long, thin neck. 

Click HERE for the rest of the story.

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1987 Harmonic Convergence

In August of 1987 a friend of mine invited me to attend church with her. At that point in my life I wanted nothing to do with church of any kind. I had been battling suicide for over five years which resulted from my extremely patriarchal, fundamentalist upbringing, and I knew I couldn’t find reprieve from my suffering in the same beliefs that created it. I was only 21 yet very tapped into my intuition.

Something about this girl and her family was different. They didn’t come across as the faux friend I felt bombarded with from others who wanted to assimilate (fellowship) me into their belief system. I had  left Montana as a teenager and moved to Salt Lake City to find myself. Everyone I met seemed to want to convert me to “real” Mormonism. But not this family. They seemed to me to be genuine and real, with no strings attached.

My friend told me about the female minister at her church and that she would be teaching a lesson on prosperity the following Sunday. That I needed to see – a woman leading the show and talking positively about money? Both were beyond my imagination.

Out of curiosity I took my friend up on her invitation. That one random Sunday forever changed my life. It took me in a direction I never imagined possible. It took me on a journey of self-discovery, self-improvement and eventually, self-realization. All of that new age enlightenment taught me how to heal my life and see a much bigger picture of myself and the universe. Not through the church itself so much, but through the books in the bookstore. Wayne Dyer and his friends became my teachers. And yes, the Church of Religious Science – now the Centers for Spiritual Living – literally saved my life.

There have been other similar organizations that I’ve attended over the years, such as Unity, Unitarian and various Science of Mind based spiritual centers. They feed my soul rather than attempt to control it. All of them have bookstores that stimulate my emotional and spiritual analysis and elevate my self-awareness.

August of 1987 was a big year, not just for me but for the planet as a whole. It was the time of Harmonic Convergence when a new level of enlightened energy began coming to our planet. Of course I didn’t know it at the time but now I see the synchronicity. I am so glad I said yes to my friend and in so doing, said yes to life and the direction of my life purpose. All those years ago I could have never imagined where I am today.

Another Harmonic Convergence begins tomorrow. I’m curious to see where it takes us…

Be sure to connect with me on my official page where I share my latest insights to help you become more self-empowered. Follow me on Facebook, Twitter and You Tube too.

Until next time, be fearless, fabulous and free!

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