The Polygamist's Daughter

Stories, Reflections and Conclusions of Life on the Inside


Leave a comment

War Against Men?

If sexual assault on a man isn’t okay, then why on earth would it be okay for a woman?

I saw something a few days ago about the war on men. Seriously?????

Women are finally coming into greater courage and no longer sweeping our pain stories under the rug for the collective comfort zone. Some people are actually victimizing the victims, as though making women look like villains somehow makes men look better.  It certainly keeps men in their place, but is that really what’s best for everyone?

I really hope we are more conscious than to think that there is a war against men. There is no war against men – that is part of the illusion based in fear. Fear is feeding the war B.S. (belief system) to men, and some small-minded women, and trying to reverse all the work love has done to move humanity forward.

Againstness is what got us into this ugly mess in the first place. 

Just because women are finally finding the strength and courage to speak their truth, after thousands of years of tyranny, in NO WAY emasculates men. It does however, cause men to rethink how we move forward in mutual respect and understanding.

We women are simply asking that we be treated with same the dignity and respect that men have always afforded each other. We are tired of the ancient and archaic belief, still clinging to collective sub-conscious, that God created women for men, and that women are the reason for the sins of men.

We want to feel safe, free, limitless and confident, the way that men do. 

Saying that women becoming emotionally stronger is making men emotionally weaker is like saying that women lifting weights at the gym is making men physically weaker. That is preposterous! Strength is a choice – exercise it responsibly!

We are outgrowing fear. This is about women outgrowing beliefs of less-than-ness, and men outgrowing the stronghold of force, manifesting itself as compete, control and conquering of women and all life on earth. One above another is all based in fear. Some men are helping move consciousness forward by teaching other men how rise-above our ancient fear based-beliefs and create a new reality based in love.

In this love-based reality REAL men understand that masculine (every man and women is both masculine and feminine) is powerful, it manifests as cooperation, support and protection.

We women have no interest or desire to emasculate men, we want real men. We want companions and friends, men we can trust with our hearts and our children’s, rather than being afraid they will hurt us. We don’t want overseers and owners who control us through ego and manipulation. We want to be at men’s side, rather than from their side. We want men to understand that dominion is the opposite of domination. Human beings were never meant to be corralled and controlled.

We are tired of being afraid and we are standing up to fear! 

We need conscious and loving men to use their power, support and protection to help lift us up so that we can soar, rather than continue to use force to keep us down. We need men who are strong enough with themselves that they can raise us up, support the tremendous courage it takes for us to come out from under wraps, protect the cause of love for all life on earth, and applaud us when we rise to the occasion.

This is the only way we will create a new reality where everyone wins. 

We are working toward a world based in love and balance, rather than fear and patriarchy. In order to achieve this, we have to stop the belief that we need to be at war with each other. War and blame has never solved anything – it never has, and it never will. War only keeps us in a perpetual cycle of fear and againstness.

We need men and women who are high-minded, who can see from a higher perspective, act above the fear and raise the consciousness of all of humanity, so that we, all of us, are all no longer controlled by anything that ever was.

This is how we all become free. 

Victoria Reynolds Signature

 


Leave a comment

Catholic Comparison

Today’s snippet from Fly, Fly Away: From the Prisons of Polygamy and Patriarchy to the Freedom of Deep Truth.

In my childhood religion we believed that no one could forgive us except for God. We were stuck with our sins until the great and terrible day of judgment in the afterlife when all of humanity would be called before God and their eternal fate determined in one fail swoop. We laughed at the crazy Catholics who actually believed that a man behind a magic curtain like the Wizard of Oz could absolve them of their sins. They were free to sin as much as they wanted and then magically get to start all over again as if nothing had ever happened. The ecclesiastical white out made everything okay. I admit there was a little jealousy that they got to live guilt free, while I had to carry the guilt with me for eternity. All they had to do was believe and confess while I had to work my butt off every day for God’s acceptance of me. We didn’t just have to believe in Jesus as our savior, we had to be perfect like Jesus. Through perfection, we got to be more than saved, we were exalted. Guilt for our sins was the price we paid for making it to the top of heaven.

This was my perceptive as a teenager after being exposed to some Catholic kids in the public school my parents finally broke down and allowed me to attend. This was among the many evils of the world my parents didn’t want me to be exposed to.

Open minds can become changed minds!

Victoria Reynolds Signature

 


Leave a comment

Laying On Of Hands

I’m still working on the final edits of my book Fly, Fly Away.  Every time I pick it up and start working on it I have to relive the memories that came with it.

Why am I writing this book?  The answer is two-fold. People ask me all the time what it was like growing up the way that I did.  This book goes into detail about life in the cult, how we lived, what we believe, and why we believed, and it shares the trauma to my mind, body, heart and spirit that resulted from it.  That’s the surface reason for writing my story.  The deeper and bigger purpose for it is to help others work through their own pain story.

We all have a pain story, it’s simply a matter of processing the story and how we use it to empower ourselves and others.

Here is today’s snippet:

As I grew, life become increasingly complicated and more complex, and I became more exposed to the reality of the way things were. I knew that men had the priesthood power to lay their hands on me to heal my sorrows and mend my wounds, but I had not concept of how to resolve how I felt when they hit me, hurt me and touched me. I had always been told that the only place I would be safe from the temptations of Satan was in the company of men with the priesthood. Yet the company of men became the least safe place for me. Men began to take notice of me, no longer in my own home but throughout the community as well. I had been told from a very young age that my body was a private temple, but it became apparent to me that not everyone understood or agreed with what that meant. The laying on of hands that men were endowed with as part of their priesthood rightfulness was intended to be used in performing miracles and bring healing to their families. For me it took on an entirely different meaning altogether.

Unfortunately, men in the community seemed to think that little girl’s were personal property and I was constantly having to protect myself from their wandering hands and eyes, not always successfully.  The end result was a my own life over death choice, a choice I made by running away from home.

When I left there was no help to turn to and no resources. I had no choice to figure it out on my own and self-therapy.  That self-therapy is now what I teach to others as I help them process their own pain story.

Now there are resources for those who leave and a new one just came into my awareness.  This new non-profit organization is the work-of heart of several young women who left polygamist cults like mine and are dedicated to helping others who are finding courage to leave or who have been exiled. Check it out at www.HopeAfterPolygamy.org.  I’m so proud of these young women and the work they are doing to make the transition as painless and powerful as possible.

Until next time, be Fearless and Free!

logo-signature