The Polygamist's Daughter

Stories, Reflections and Conclusions of Life on the Inside


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Leaving Religion Changed My Life

In words of one of my favorite authors, Martha Beck, I lost the Mormons and found my faith.

When I was seventeen years old I ran away from home for good.  It was either that, or kill myself. 

The first time I was only thirteen. I left home on my bicycle after a school teacher openly made advances toward me.  My father found me and attempted to “beat some sense” into me.  The beating only made me more determined to leave the craziness of my religion. In my eyes, no loving God would beat a child into submission.

That wasn’t a God I wanted to believe in and I wanted to believe that love meant something more that what I saw around me. 

After leaving the Fundamentalist Mormon cult of my childhood I moved to Utah and became a member of the normal Mormon church. I went through all of the missionary teachings as though I were any ordinary gentile, never letting on where I came from and what I knew. I pretended to be a convert, even though I was already VERY familiar with the teachings. I had hoped that being accepted as a normal Mormon would help me feel better about myself and the God I had been taught to believe in. But that didn’t help. I felt awkward in false-acceptance and the fellow-shipping felt disingenuous, as though it had a hidden agenda I couldn’t quite put my finger on. All I knew is that all of it made me feel very uncomfortable, and it just didn’t feel right for me.

In my early twenties a friend of mine introduced me to a spiritual center. There was no fear-mongering or guilt-tripping, just happy people doing their own thing. 

For the very first time in my life I felt at home. I was never a regular attendee at this center, or any center, as memberships of any kind made me feel uncomfortable. The only time I stepped into any church over the next twenty years was for occasional weddings or funerals. My spirit felt free of dogmatic obligations and judgmental eyes as I came to terms with my own truth. The real freedom came just a few years ago when I finally found the process to ask for a release from the Mormon church.

Dismembering from the Mormon Church is a lot more difficult than becoming a member, just as disbelieving is. 

Now, more than ever before, my spirit is free to follow its own path. I am free to be who I am really here to be and I am free to listen to my own internal guidance without fear or guilt for trusting my own truth. Leaving religion is one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. It has freed me up to connect to Spirit without the dogmatic perceptions, expectations and practices created by middle-men.

I am one with Spirit, God, Source, Love… and It is one with me. I am that I am and I am free! 

And yes, I forgave this past a long time ago. I could not do the work I am here to do had I not had the story that I have. I’ts all good.

Until next time, Be Fearless, Fabulous and Free!

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Free Yourself From The Patriarchy

I’m working on a new FREE e-course titled, “3 Steps to Free Yourself From the Patriarchy and Courageously Confront Fear.”

In this video e-course you will learn:patriarchy

  • How to recognize patriarchy in all of our systems and the role it plays in our collective evolution
  • How recognizing patriarchy for what it has been creates the ability for you to be a part of the movement toward balance
  • How to courageously confront fear and be the change you want to see in the world.

If this interests you, hop on over to my official website and pick up the free e-book, “Free Your Spirit” before it goes away.

When the e-course is ready, you will be the first to know.

www.VictoriaReynolds.com

 


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Bullying Is Terrorism

One of the subjects I haven’t covered much on this blog is that of bullying. Part of the reason I suspect is that being bullied was a normal way of life for me for a very long time. As a little girl it came from my family, other children and the belief system itself. Everything in my life kept me feeling afraid. In high school it was my peers, both boys and girls, that took terrorizing me to an extreme and left me with nothing more than an obsession with suicide.

At the time there was no term for children hurting other children. It was simply overlooked as, “kids will be kids.”

When boys threw rocks at me, shot me with BB guns and used me for slingshot practice, I obviously did something to make them want to hurt me. In high school when I experienced sexual assault it was brushed of as “boys will be boys.” When girls called me names and physically attacked me, I must have done something to piss them off. Even when I was raped I was told it was my fault. In the belief that I must have done something to make others act the way they did, all of it culminated in a desire for nothing more than death to relieve my suffering.

When I hear stories now about kids committing suicide because they’ve been bullied, I get it. I REALLY get it.

For me, the bullying started when I was very young in the form of coercion. Coercion is an extreme form of bullying and it isn’t that uncommon even today. It is so mainstream that it often goes unrecognized. It shows its face in ways of manipulative parenting, extreme religions, peer pressure, micro-management, passive-aggressive behavior, gang mentality and so on.

Research has shown that the lasting effects include anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, symptoms of post-traumatic stress, attachment problems, substance abuse and suicide. When emotional terrorism is inflicted on children it becomes internalized and the result is self-terrorism. Children who are emotionally traumatized become the most vulnerable to being victimized, specifically for bullying as they grow into their teens and young adulthood. The long term effects result in lack of self-worth for even the most enterprising individual. These feelings of lack of self-worth are then cycled through to the next generation. And so it goes.

Children who are coerced and bullied are more likely to join gangs, get caught up in terrorism and be tantalized by cults as they grow into adults.

What those three all have in common is that they cause the hurt inner child to feel loved, as twisted as that love may appear. In these environments the inner-child  that has been broken by belief, feels safe and accepted. The bullies on the playground often become leaders, albeit fear-driven leaders because they know how easy it is to manipulate people. They know how to rally people to their cause and make followers feel heard.

This above all is the reason that we must be vigilant to teach our children kindness and mutual-respect. Children who grow up in unconditionally loving homes are far less likely to be affected by bullying when it comes their way. They are far less likely to be manipulated by fear and more likely to become healthy, happy, kind and compassionate adults.

Unconditional love and acceptance is the number one cause of happiness. 

This is my area of expertise. If you are having difficulty getting to the next level in your work, relationships or life as a whole, chances are you have unconscious fear-based beliefs blocking your happiness and forward movement.

Visit my official website and let’s help you find the happiness you rightfully deserve!

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