Having been born and raised in a polygamist commune I saw both the jealousy and camaraderie of sister wives. I left the commune as a teenager and for many years I was angry about the way I had been raised and embarrassed to admit to anyone the truth about my childhood. However, now that I have come to a place in my life where I really know who I am as an individual and as a woman I am able to see how the polygamous lifestyle can work between consenting loving adults. I am happily monogamous and have no interest in polygamy, but I do understand why some women choose it both for religious and relationship reasons.
We as women yearn for connective relationships with other women. We thrive on girl’s night out and the bonds with our girlfriends. Once upon a time in a Matriarchal society women worked together for the betterment of their families and communities. Camaraderie and collaboration between women is still at the heart of who we are. But society insists that we pit ourselves against each other rather than support each other.
Polygamy certainly is not for me, but it can be a very rewarding relationship for women who have gotten past societal expectations and discovered the value of living in collaborative relationships with other women.
2 thoughts on “Sister Wives”
These women do their best to create a community of collaberation and cooperation in the spirit of sisterhood. Love with their husband is not seen in their world the same way as it is with ours. Time with each wife is divided equally and each wife knows her assigned night in advance. Their emotionally needs are met more by the love of their children, hopefully comeraderie between girlfriends and their relationship with God. Sex is supposedly reserved for procreation and does not have the same emotional value that we place on it. Men are seen as the head of the household and ultimately responsible for the decisions and wellbeing of the entire family. Sex with 4 women also brings with it the responsibility of 4 families.
Not all polygamist relationships are based on religion. Some do it purely because they feel it is right.
In my case, i feel very at home with where i am at. My “sister” and i get along very well despite not knowing eachother for long. We speak the same words at the same time, finish eachothers’ sentences, and have even worked out chores for once i’m allowed in the home (i’m deathly allergic to cats and my Sir and my sister took in three when a friend lost his home 😦 So no hanging out and movie education til they’re gone). We aren’t going to have “my night” and “her night” because it’s just not needed. You do what *feels* right, not follow a calender or a list. This is about love and family, not about God for us.
Hope all is well.