The Polygamist's Daughter

Stories, Reflections and Conclusions of Life on the Inside


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Suffering In Silence

The religion that I grew up with told us that suffering was a gift from God for women, and women suffering in silence allowed men their birthright to have joy. Suffering made women more beautiful because it kept them meek and humble, and at the feet and will of men.

The paradox of joy and suffering, in this system of belief was very extreme, and was encoded in me as a very young child. It is still a work in progress, as life is. Finding the courage to speak my truth in the presence of men can still unnerve me at times.

Suffering does’t make anyone more beautiful, but it can offer a lesson in self-growth that can lead to a more beautiful way of moving through life.

The paradox of joy and suffering are a part of the human experience, as paradoxes are. The paradox exists as a medium for growth. There is a difference between embracing the paradox of joy and suffering, and being a doormat for suffering in the belief that it is a spiritual practice.

Joy is a result of recognizing the suffering exists and healing it; first accepting its existence, and second, treating it with healthy applications of love, beginning with self-love. 

The paradox of suffering and joy exists. How we work with the paradox is how we find joy. This is with our own suffering, as well as the suffering of others. 

Recognizing the suffering, and wallowing in it without resolution, are two different things. There is also a difference between processing the suffering and spiritually bypassing it.

Without recognition and acceptance, then processing and resolution, the lesson that suffering has to offer isn’t learned. Ignoring, stuffing (staying sweet and silent) or bypassing the suffering halts to path to joy. Until the lesson is learned, the suffering will continue, and joy is held at bay. 

The suffering will keep coming up, again and again, until it is resolved and the lesson is learned.  

Choose to see the suffering as an opportunity for personal self-growth. This requires facing it with courage, refusing to stuff it and pretend it doesn’t exist and resolve it with love and fortitude. 

Life is that ALL beings might have joy. Everyone suffers, it is part of the human experience on earth school. How long we suffer, and how we manage the suffering is a choice. We are all empowered with choice.

Choose Joy! 


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War Against Men?

If sexual assault on a man isn’t okay, then why on earth would it be okay for a woman?

I saw something a few days ago about the war on men. Seriously?????

Women are finally coming into greater courage and no longer sweeping our pain stories under the rug for the collective comfort zone. Some people are actually victimizing the victims, as though making women look like villains somehow makes men look better.  It certainly keeps men in their place, but is that really what’s best for everyone?

I really hope we are more conscious than to think that there is a war against men. There is no war against men – that is part of the illusion based in fear. Fear is feeding the war B.S. (belief system) to men, and some small-minded women, and trying to reverse all the work love has done to move humanity forward.

Againstness is what got us into this ugly mess in the first place. 

Just because women are finally finding the strength and courage to speak their truth, after thousands of years of tyranny, in NO WAY emasculates men. It does however, cause men to rethink how we move forward in mutual respect and understanding.

We women are simply asking that we be treated with same the dignity and respect that men have always afforded each other. We are tired of the ancient and archaic belief, still clinging to collective sub-conscious, that God created women for men, and that women are the reason for the sins of men.

We want to feel safe, free, limitless and confident, the way that men do. 

Saying that women becoming emotionally stronger is making men emotionally weaker is like saying that women lifting weights at the gym is making men physically weaker. That is preposterous! Strength is a choice – exercise it responsibly!

We are outgrowing fear. This is about women outgrowing beliefs of less-than-ness, and men outgrowing the stronghold of force, manifesting itself as compete, control and conquering of women and all life on earth. One above another is all based in fear. Some men are helping move consciousness forward by teaching other men how rise-above our ancient fear based-beliefs and create a new reality based in love.

In this love-based reality REAL men understand that masculine (every man and women is both masculine and feminine) is powerful, it manifests as cooperation, support and protection.

We women have no interest or desire to emasculate men, we want real men. We want companions and friends, men we can trust with our hearts and our children’s, rather than being afraid they will hurt us. We don’t want overseers and owners who control us through ego and manipulation. We want to be at men’s side, rather than from their side. We want men to understand that dominion is the opposite of domination. Human beings were never meant to be corralled and controlled.

We are tired of being afraid and we are standing up to fear! 

We need conscious and loving men to use their power, support and protection to help lift us up so that we can soar, rather than continue to use force to keep us down. We need men who are strong enough with themselves that they can raise us up, support the tremendous courage it takes for us to come out from under wraps, protect the cause of love for all life on earth, and applaud us when we rise to the occasion.

This is the only way we will create a new reality where everyone wins. 

We are working toward a world based in love and balance, rather than fear and patriarchy. In order to achieve this, we have to stop the belief that we need to be at war with each other. War and blame has never solved anything – it never has, and it never will. War only keeps us in a perpetual cycle of fear and againstness.

We need men and women who are high-minded, who can see from a higher perspective, act above the fear and raise the consciousness of all of humanity, so that we, all of us, are all no longer controlled by anything that ever was.

This is how we all become free. 

Victoria Reynolds Signature

 


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Other Cults Like Mine, Who Knew?

As a little girl I had no idea that there were other people like us in the greater world. In my little cosmos, “The Allreds” was the only true church of God. 

There wasn’t even a real name for my religion and I never questioned why.  My prophet was Rulon Allred and when he died during my tween years, the new prophet was his brother Owen.  I knew there were other members of our organization in Utah and Mexico, but it was all kept so secret that I had no label for my system of belief. I just knew that our way was the only way and we were the only people God really loved.

After I ran away from home, I moved to Salt Lake City, Utah, the only logical place I knew to go. Then I moved around the country in search of myself and my own truth. Imagine trying to explain a religion that had no name as I traveled from city to city and state to state. More than a decade later I discovered that I had been a “Fundamentalist Mormon.” Who knew? It took me a while to understand the label and it came as a great relief – I could at least answer the question of “what religion were you” without feeling like a fool.

About 10 years ago or so, I started diving deeper into my personal history and the history of my childhood religion, in a desire to understand. I wanted to make sure that my memoirs, when they were released, were as accurate as possible, based on the information I could gather. I began to discover the “other” groups I had only heard brief mention of in my younger years.

As a child I knew they were the wrong religion because they had the wrong prophet, and that was all I knew. 

In my search for greater understanding I found myself as entrenched with the story of the F.L.D.S. (Short Creek is how I knew it as a child) along with everyone else in the country. Perhaps even more because I understood the underlying dogma. I found myself visiting Colorado City (Short Creek) on several occasions, shooting footage for a documentary that sadly still sits on the cutting room floor. I met extraordinary people and heard extraordinary stories of what really went on at Y.F.Z. Ranch and still goes on today in the F.L.D.S.

Yesterday, one of those extraordinary women shared a blog post that I am forwarding on to you. Brenda is a woman of amazing courage. I’ve never met her in person but when I first met her through a Facebook group she was fresh from the farm, so to speak. She looked and sounded exactly the way you would expect, having just left her uncultured home, fortunately with kids in tow.  Since that time she has educated herself, become a prolific writer and supporter of those who are looking for life and truth outside of the F.L.D.S.

Here is her most recent blog post and an update on what really happened in the raid on Yearning For Zion Ranch and in Colorado City as Warren Jeffs fades into memory, yet not far enough. Check it out HERE.

Until next time BE FEARLESS & FREE!

Victoria Reynolds Signature