The Polygamist's Daughter

Stories, Reflections and Conclusions of Life on the Inside

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Becoming Homeless

I ran away from home as a teenager when I finally had enough physical and sexual assaults on my body and mental and spiritual insults to my mind.

It was either that, or commit suicide. At the time, I didn’t really consider it running away from home. I just left. I got in the back seat of a car and drove away. I had a one friend who told me she had a place for me to stay and that was all I needed.

My adventurer into the “real world” began with sleeping on the floor of house with people I didn’t know. A kind woman whose name I can’t recall, rescued a few of us from the cult and let us stay with her until we could get a foothold on our own. That was my first experiences with being homeless.

Yes, I had a place to sleep, but it wasn’t home.

A continual cycle of circumstances left me homeless off and on for the the next 10 years. Sometimes I had an apartment, sometimes not. There were times of stability and times of not knowing where I would sleep next. Job losses and changing roommate situations left me sleeping on floors, couches and sometimes in my car. A few times I got lucky and picked up house-sitting opportunities. I lost everything I owned several times. What I learned about myself is that I could not stay where I was wasn’t appreciated and I learned that I am resourceful and resilient.

Finally, I found where I belonged. I found home. A “you can stay here for a few weeks until you find a job and a place to live,” turned into a relationship leading to a happy marriage, a beautiful house, two amazing kids and a stable career.

Now I’m giving back to help others in the same situation.

A team of female filmmakers have come together and are telling the truth about homelessness. So few people realize what it really is and how one person can make a difference that lasts a lifetime. We are each sharing our own stories of living without a key. Pearl is a documentary film sharing 6 women’s’ stories shedding light on the full scope of homelessness.

The purpose of “Pearl” is to enlighten the masses about the many faces of homelessness and give hope to others in situations like ours.

We can’t do it alone. Change takes a community. We are looking for others to join the movement and share their own stories of homelessness. HERE is the link for more information. Click on the box beneath JOIN THE FILM CREW and we will keep you updated on how you can share your story. You can also donate to the film-making fund, and even earn production credits on our Seed & Spark campaign by clicking HERE.

Please share the information forward and thank you for being a part of making a difference in the world. Together we rise!

Until next time, Get Bold, Be Fearless and Speak Your Truth!

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Brenda’s Journey

In the nearly 10 years that I’ve been writing this blog I’ve had the opportunity learn, grow and expand my perspective, both of my own journey and the journey of others.

Along the way I’ve met extraordinary men and women. Some who are still in polygamy and many who have left in search of their own path. Many I’ve met online and still have yet to meet in person. One of the brightest lights on my path, and on my Facebook feed, is Brenda Nicholson. Brenda was one of the lucky ones to escape the stronghold of Warren Jeff’s grasp. When I first discovered Brenda she was still wearing her F.L.D.S. dress and up-do. Now she has has found her own style.

Brenda has found happiness in the outside world and is now sharing her own perspective of what polygamy is like from an inside view. Here is a post she gave me permission to share.

“A couple of years ago I bought “Becoming Sister Wives” from a thrift store. I read it then, but it has taken me a while to write about it.

This is the first of several blog posts I will be publishing where I will be addressing polygamy according to the self-proclaimed “Good Polygamists.” I hope you’ll find their ideas of “Good” polygamy as interesting as I have.

I have to warn you: This is a long post. I couldn’t figure out how to really portray things without including a significant amount of their own testimony. (I only got through the point where Kody married his third wife, Christine.

I found this book surprising, but not for the reasons I expected it to be.”

You can checkout Brenda’s latest blog post here.


Polygamy Secrets Exposed

Several years back I woke up in the middle of the night to the message, “You need to make a movie about polygamy.”

These four-o’clock wake up calls sometimes happen when my soul has a message for me that needs my attention. This one took me by complete surprise. At the time I knew nothing about the film industry, only that I had dabbled in in for a few months in the late 1980’s and quickly discovered it was a slimy business I wanted nothing to do with.

Why then, more than twenty-five years later, did I suddenly get the middle-of the night call to make a movie? I thought that crazy idea of fame and fortune in the film industry had sailed decades ago.

The next morning I sat on my couch, asking myself what the message was all about. The response was simply, “keep your eyes and ears open today.” A little later I hoped onto Facebook and into a private group I rarely visited. It was a group full of anger and suffering as the result of polygamy and when I did visit, it was to spread love and healing. That morning it became for a completely different reason.

Yes, I’m highly intuitive, and my inner-guidance is spot on!

Another uncommon visitor to the group asked if I knew anyone with the last name of Lithgow or Mackelroy. The first name I knew all too well. This was the last name of the girl that I ran away from home with. I haven’t seen or heard from her in 30 years, but I will never forget her name.

I mentioned that I knew the last name Lithgow, and was met with a response that a filmmaker in Los Angeles was looking to make a movie about polygamy and looking for someone to help. Within 24 hours I was sitting down with that filmmaker, who just happened to have an opening in her very busy schedule, and within a week we were filming on location in Colorado City.

Yes, that middle of the night wake-up call was the real deal, as was the nudge to keep my eyes and ears open.

Amber Dawn Lee was that filmmaker, and although the movie itself still sits on the cutting room floor as they say, Amber and I have become life-long friends. A few days ago she dug up some of the footage we shot and has posted it on her You Tube channel.

Checkout the footage and be sure to subscribe to her channel. She is finding a way to blend film-making with stand-up comedy and cult survival. She has just started adding some of our footage so there are only a couple of them. Stay tuned for more as she loads them up!

As for me, that the meeting with Amber has taken me on a completely new trajectory for my life in alignment with my soul’s higher purpose. I will share those details with you once I have contracts in hand.

As always, Be Fearless, Be Fabulous and Be Free!