The Polygamist's Daughter

Stories, Reflections and Conclusions of Life on the Inside


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Getting Stoned

For me, getting stoned has a completely different frame of reference than it probably does for most people. It really has to do with being stoned. 

I almost never remember my dreams but this one stuck with me. I had a dream last night about a young giraffe. It had done something wrong and was standing in the dirt and tied to a tall Palm tree unable to move. A group of men were standing around it and throwing rocks at it to punish it for what it had done. In the dream I stood off to the side watching helplessly. I thought to myself, “That poor giraffe, I wonder how it feels not knowing why people are throwing rocks at it.” Then a voice in my head said, “You know exactly how it feels, remember.”

Then I woke up and realized that I was the giraffe. A memory from my childhood young_giraffe_on_white_background_600came flooding back. I recall I was around eleven years old. Some people called me a giraffe because of my long, thin neck. 

Click HERE for the rest of the story.

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It’s Time to Own Your True Worth

Oprah Winfrey said, after interviewing thousands of people, “The show has taught me there is a common thread that runs through all of our pain and all of our suffering, and that is unworthiness. Not feeling worthy enough to own the life you were created for. Even people who believe they deserve to be happy and have nice things often don’t feel worthy once they have them.”

What a relief it was to know that I wasn’t alone in my struggle to own my true worth. Not only wasn’t I alone in my feelings of worth-lessness, beliefs in unworthiness appear epidemic. And, except for those who take the time to really look for it and work through their feelings, I suspect it may be getting worse.  The issues have always been there, the only difference is that we are finally recognizing, acknowledging and wanting to heal them.

That is precisely why I wrote the guidebook Own Your True Worth: 7 Secrets to Free Yourself from Beliefs of Unworthiness.

It’s only .99 on Amazon Kindle. Don’t have Kindle, no problem, you can download the app for free or read it on other electronic readers.

For the rest of the story and to pick up your copy click HERE.

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From Bullied to Bodacious

As a child I was punished for being strong-willed, independent, daring and free-spirited. I was a precocious child who could see and think outside of the carefully crafted box my parents put me in.  My defiance against the system that used terror to control me made my father punish me all the more. Now, before I sound like a whiner, my well-meaning parents were simply over-protective and did the best they could with what they knew. They believed in a God that bullied them and unleashed His punishments if they failed to control me.

The continual pounding on my body, mind and heart finally broke my spirit and my will, just the way parents believed I needed to be.

I grew up with the archaic belief that, “a child’s will needs to be broken” and “you must come to God with a broken spirit.” By the time I reached my teens I felt sufficiently broken. What I didn’t know then that I know now, is that the extent of trauma I experienced at the hands of my peers, occurred because I had already been traumatized as a child.

In my research I’ve discovered that individuals with low self-esteem make easy targets for relentless bullies, and those who cannot develop resilience often end up in self-destructive behavior.

It took a very long time for me to put the pieces of myself back together, re-build my will and heal my broken spirit. It turns out they never really broke me, just damaged my ability to recognize my light myself. The spirit, just like the body, can be healed and restored. Now I’m back to my strong-willed, free-spirited, bold and audacious self.

For the rest of the story click HERE.

While you are there, don’t forget to sign up for your FREE Gift and see what else I’ve been up to lately. 

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