The Polygamist's Daughter

Stories, Reflections and Conclusions of Life on the Inside


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The Chosen Path

“Perhaps our path is not the one we are given. Perhaps our path is the one that we choose.” Mega Mind

pathMany of the kid’s movies emerging the past few years are teaching our youth that they are the creators of their reality and that they choose the direction their lives take. It is so refreshing to see that we are empowering children to make conscious choices rather than assuming someone or something else has it all planned out for them.

I remember as a child feeling like I was a pawn in God’s cruel game and that I had no choice how my life unfolded because it was all already planned for me. When people hurt me it was God’s will and part of His plan for me. The God I was taught to believe in was like the abusive parent who hurts His children and then expects to be loved even in the abuse. In my eyes, God was like my own father who would say, “I’m hurting you for your own good.”

Forced obedience to a relentlessly punishing father isn’t the same as unconditional love.  It is fear disguised as love.

Now I can see that free-will-choice is our ultimate freedom and as such we are the creators, co-creators and inter-creators of our lives. Every choice we make affects every other being on the planet and in that way we are all one. As much as we try to separate ourselves from ourselves as creators, and separate ourselves from each other, we cannot. Even when we give blame or credit to someone or something else, even God, we are all still creating. We are all choosing the direction our lives take, individually as well as collectively.

We are the creators of our reality and our paths are the paths we choose.

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Getting Stoned

For me, getting stoned has a completely different frame of reference than it probably does for most people. It really has to do with being stoned. 

I almost never remember my dreams but this one stuck with me. I had a dream last night about a young giraffe. It had done something wrong and was standing in the dirt and tied to a tall Palm tree unable to move. A group of men were standing around it and throwing rocks at it to punish it for what it had done. In the dream I stood off to the side watching helplessly. I thought to myself, “That poor giraffe, I wonder how it feels not knowing why people are throwing rocks at it.” Then a voice in my head said, “You know exactly how it feels, remember.”

Then I woke up and realized that I was the giraffe. A memory from my childhood young_giraffe_on_white_background_600came flooding back. I recall I was around eleven years old. Some people called me a giraffe because of my long, thin neck. 

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What’s Next for The Polygamist’s Daughter?

This year has been one of the most transformational and liberating years of my life. Yes liberating, almost as liberating as leaving home so many years ago, only under very different circumstances. When I left home as a teenager it was to escape my life in search of myself and freedom from the feelings of suicide that plagued me. It was, in every sense of the word, a choice between life and death. In choosing life, I chose freedom.

I have had a truly extraordinary life as a result of trusting my own path, rather than blindly following the one that had been supposedly predestined for me.

In October of 2015 I made the decision to attend the University of Santa Monica and earn a certificate in Spiritual Psychology. It was a course designed perfectly for me and I had been hearing about it for several years. It combines two of my favorite subjects, spirituality and psychology, into one learning program created to teaching students how to resolve unresolved issues and how to facilitate the healing of memories with others.

This perfect blend of healing my own story while assisting others in healing theirs fits perfectly in alignment with the work I feel I am being tugged to do.

For the rest of the story click HERE

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