The Polygamist's Daughter

Stories, Reflections and Conclusions of Life on the Inside


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Getting Stoned

For me, getting stoned has a completely different frame of reference than it probably does for most people. It really has to do with being stoned. 

I almost never remember my dreams but this one stuck with me. I had a dream last night about a young giraffe. It had done something wrong and was standing in the dirt and tied to a tall Palm tree unable to move. A group of men were standing around it and throwing rocks at it to punish it for what it had done. In the dream I stood off to the side watching helplessly. I thought to myself, “That poor giraffe, I wonder how it feels not knowing why people are throwing rocks at it.” Then a voice in my head said, “You know exactly how it feels, remember.”

Then I woke up and realized that I was the giraffe. A memory from my childhood young_giraffe_on_white_background_600came flooding back. I recall I was around eleven years old. Some people called me a giraffe because of my long, thin neck. 

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From Bullied to Bodacious

As a child I was punished for being strong-willed, independent, daring and free-spirited. I was a precocious child who could see and think outside of the carefully crafted box my parents put me in.  My defiance against the system that used terror to control me made my father punish me all the more. Now, before I sound like a whiner, my well-meaning parents were simply over-protective and did the best they could with what they knew. They believed in a God that bullied them and unleashed His punishments if they failed to control me.

The continual pounding on my body, mind and heart finally broke my spirit and my will, just the way parents believed I needed to be.

I grew up with the archaic belief that, “a child’s will needs to be broken” and “you must come to God with a broken spirit.” By the time I reached my teens I felt sufficiently broken. What I didn’t know then that I know now, is that the extent of trauma I experienced at the hands of my peers, occurred because I had already been traumatized as a child.

In my research I’ve discovered that individuals with low self-esteem make easy targets for relentless bullies, and those who cannot develop resilience often end up in self-destructive behavior.

It took a very long time for me to put the pieces of myself back together, re-build my will and heal my broken spirit. It turns out they never really broke me, just damaged my ability to recognize my light myself. The spirit, just like the body, can be healed and restored. Now I’m back to my strong-willed, free-spirited, bold and audacious self.

For the rest of the story click HERE.

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Prophet’s Prey Hollywood Premier

Prophet’s Prey, the documentary film based on Sam Brower’s book by the same name, is getting rave reviews. If all goes well, it may even be up for an Academy Award.

Sam Brower is the private investigator who was instrumental in gathering details about Warren Jeffs and seeing him put away for life. In his book he details his the discovery process that began with a man named Ross Chatwin and ends with Warren’s conviction. But, the movie takes the story another step forward. Just after the completion of the film, life in Colorado became even more crazy as Warren Jeffs edicts to his people have left many homeless and children orphaned.

Sam, in conjunction with John Krakauer, Amy Berg and Ron Howard, among others, have created a film that is telling the truth behind the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

This movie shows the plight of the F.L.D.S. people. People who are blindly manipulated by a man who they believe is in prison for religious persecution. A man who is really in prison for sexual assault of a minor, to put it nicely.

Don’t miss out on a chance to see this movie right now in select theaters. If you live in the Los Angeles area, you may have a chance to meet Sam in person along with a celebrity panel.

Check out the premier dates and get your tickets here. 

Until next time.

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