One of the subjects I haven’t covered much on this blog is that of bullying. Part of the reason I suspect is that being bullied was a normal way of life for me for a very long time. As a little girl it came from my family, other children and the belief system itself. Everything in my life kept me feeling afraid. In high school it was my peers, both boys and girls, that took terrorizing me to an extreme and left me with nothing more than an obsession with suicide.
At the time there was no term for children hurting other children. It was simply overlooked as, “kids will be kids.”
When boys threw rocks at me, shot me with BB guns and used me for slingshot practice, I obviously did something to make them want to hurt me. In high school when I experienced sexual assault it was brushed of as “boys will be boys.” When girls called me names and physically attacked me, I must have done something to piss them off. Even when I was raped I was told it was my fault. In the belief that I must have done something to make others act the way they did, all of it culminated in a desire for nothing more than death to relieve my suffering.
When I hear stories now about kids committing suicide because they’ve been bullied, I get it. I REALLY get it.
For me, the bullying started when I was very young in the form of coercion. Coercion is an extreme form of bullying and it isn’t that uncommon even today. It is so mainstream that it often goes unrecognized. It shows its face in ways of manipulative parenting, extreme religions, peer pressure, micro-management, passive-aggressive behavior, gang mentality and so on.
Research has shown that the lasting effects include anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, symptoms of post-traumatic stress, attachment problems, substance abuse and suicide. When emotional terrorism is inflicted on children it becomes internalized and the result is self-terrorism. Children who are emotionally traumatized become the most vulnerable to being victimized, specifically for bullying as they grow into their teens and young adulthood. The long term effects result in lack of self-worth for even the most enterprising individual. These feelings of lack of self-worth are then cycled through to the next generation. And so it goes.
Children who are coerced and bullied are more likely to join gangs, get caught up in terrorism and be tantalized by cults as they grow into adults.
What those three all have in common is that they cause the hurt inner child to feel loved, as twisted as that love may appear. In these environments the inner-child that has been broken by belief, feels safe and accepted. The bullies on the playground often become leaders, albeit fear-driven leaders because they know how easy it is to manipulate people. They know how to rally people to their cause and make followers feel heard.
This above all is the reason that we must be vigilant to teach our children kindness and mutual-respect. Children who grow up in unconditionally loving homes are far less likely to be affected by bullying when it comes their way. They are far less likely to be manipulated by fear and more likely to become healthy, happy, kind and compassionate adults.
Unconditional love and acceptance is the number one cause of happiness.
This is my area of expertise. If you are having difficulty getting to the next level in your work, relationships or life as a whole, chances are you have unconscious fear-based beliefs blocking your happiness and forward movement.
Visit my official website and let’s help you find the happiness you rightfully deserve!