The Polygamist's Daughter

Stories, Reflections and Conclusions of Life on the Inside


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War Against Men?

If sexual assault on a man isn’t okay, then why on earth would it be okay for a woman?

I saw something a few days ago about the war on men. Seriously?????

Women are finally coming into greater courage and no longer sweeping our pain stories under the rug for the collective comfort zone. Some people are actually victimizing the victims, as though making women look like villains somehow makes men look better.  It certainly keeps men in their place, but is that really what’s best for everyone?

I really hope we are more conscious than to think that there is a war against men. There is no war against men – that is part of the illusion based in fear. Fear is feeding the war B.S. (belief system) to men, and some small-minded women, and trying to reverse all the work love has done to move humanity forward.

Againstness is what got us into this ugly mess in the first place. 

Just because women are finally finding the strength and courage to speak their truth, after thousands of years of tyranny, in NO WAY emasculates men. It does however, cause men to rethink how we move forward in mutual respect and understanding.

We women are simply asking that we be treated with same the dignity and respect that men have always afforded each other. We are tired of the ancient and archaic belief, still clinging to collective sub-conscious, that God created women for men, and that women are the reason for the sins of men.

We want to feel safe, free, limitless and confident, the way that men do. 

Saying that women becoming emotionally stronger is making men emotionally weaker is like saying that women lifting weights at the gym is making men physically weaker. That is preposterous! Strength is a choice – exercise it responsibly!

We are outgrowing fear. This is about women outgrowing beliefs of less-than-ness, and men outgrowing the stronghold of force, manifesting itself as compete, control and conquering of women and all life on earth. One above another is all based in fear. Some men are helping move consciousness forward by teaching other men how rise-above our ancient fear based-beliefs and create a new reality based in love.

In this love-based reality REAL men understand that masculine (every man and women is both masculine and feminine) is powerful, it manifests as cooperation, support and protection.

We women have no interest or desire to emasculate men, we want real men. We want companions and friends, men we can trust with our hearts and our children’s, rather than being afraid they will hurt us. We don’t want overseers and owners who control us through ego and manipulation. We want to be at men’s side, rather than from their side. We want men to understand that dominion is the opposite of domination. Human beings were never meant to be corralled and controlled.

We are tired of being afraid and we are standing up to fear! 

We need conscious and loving men to use their power, support and protection to help lift us up so that we can soar, rather than continue to use force to keep us down. We need men who are strong enough with themselves that they can raise us up, support the tremendous courage it takes for us to come out from under wraps, protect the cause of love for all life on earth, and applaud us when we rise to the occasion.

This is the only way we will create a new reality where everyone wins. 

We are working toward a world based in love and balance, rather than fear and patriarchy. In order to achieve this, we have to stop the belief that we need to be at war with each other. War and blame has never solved anything – it never has, and it never will. War only keeps us in a perpetual cycle of fear and againstness.

We need men and women who are high-minded, who can see from a higher perspective, act above the fear and raise the consciousness of all of humanity, so that we, all of us, are all no longer controlled by anything that ever was.

This is how we all become free. 

Victoria Reynolds Signature

 


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Arranged Marriage and Sex Trafficking

Curious about the connection between arranged marriage and sex trafficking in today’s world I posted this question on my social media networks. “Is arranged marriage a form of sex trafficking?”  The responses were varied and quite thought provoking.

The institute of marriage was created thousands of years ago as a contract between families. Daughters were traded and bartered with as chattel as part of the marriage agreement and virgins brought a high price. Girls who had lost their virginity, by whatever means, held no value.  In some societies even today, girls are murdered by their families for their loss of virginity.

In ancient times men gifted their daughters to kings and emperors to become wives and concubines, adding to their harems as men collected women like trophies. Gifting their daughters ensured favor in the eyes of the kings and gave young girls an opportunity at a better quality of life, or so it was presumed.

As humanity evolved, marriage became less about ownership and more about business. Sons and daughters were both pawns in their parent’s negotiations to ensure the peaceful existence between kingdoms and the wellbeing of family fortunes and family reputations.

Eventually marriage became about love, which only occurred in the western world in the beginning of the last century. Some argue that love is not a good requisite for marriage and often leads to divorce as love wanes and negative perceptions and judgments take over.

Arranged marriages still exist throughout the world and the reasoning behind it varies from culture to culture. In some cultures the families present all of the benefits of various potential suitors to their children. The decision regarding the marriage arrangement is made by both families as they come to agreement and the children are an active part of the decision making process.

In other cultures arranged marriages are nothing short of sex trafficking. In one particular culture girls are often betrothed at birth and given to men for their pleasure as young as four years old. They are subjected to hiding their bodies in shame for their entire lives, fully controlled by the men who own them, and treated as little more than sex slaves. Other cultures are similar, in that the bartering of girls is common, as men trade their daughters as favors to other men. And there are cultures where men and women take their young daughters to a religious leader for assignment, in the belief that he is spiritually guided. These forms of arranged marriage are not about family kingdoms, reputations, stability or love. This is about sex and control.

This form of sex trafficking is overlooked here in America because it is justified by religion. In America, anything and everything has been justified by religious belief and overlooked because we have become so religiously sensitive. We seem to forget that this is not about adults and their personal relationship choices in their relationship with God. It is about children being manipulated and abused by a system where religious rights supersede human rights.