The Polygamist's Daughter

Stories, Reflections and Conclusions of Life on the Inside


1 Comment

Affects of Polygamy

Recently I had nice long visit with TV host and producer Rebecca Kimbel.  Rebecca has her own show in Humboldt County, California. During her stay, Rebecca interviewed me on my perspective of polygamy and other beliefs from my childhood religion. Beliefs that created hell on earth and prevented me from understanding what love really is.  Beliefs that blocked me from experiencing true spirituality and creating the heaven on earth that I believe is every person’s birthright. 

Following my interview, Rebecca and I sat and talked with the camera rolling and Rebecca went on a role. Born into the same religion I was born into, she was in essence indoctrinated by the founding fathers.  Her environment was even more hurtful and restrictive than mine, and although not on film, I heard horror stories from her childhood that broke my heart.  The open and rampant abuse of women and girls all justified in the name of God and His man-made religion.  This to me is the true meaning of using God’s name in vain!  Men using God’s name for their own vain purposes and then calling it love.

You can view the other You Tube video by clicking here: After Polygamy Conversation


Leave a comment

The Difference between Spiritual Abuse and Religious Abuse

What is the difference between spiritual abuse and religious abuse?

Many people go through life believing that religion and spirituality are the same.  Religion has claimed ownership of the word “faith” as though it is synonymous with dogma.  In reality, religion and spirituality are two completely different experiences. They can, and do, exist without each other.  In this awareness we can recognize that spiritual abuse and religious abuse are separate experiences.

Religious abuse is attributed to abuse that affects individuals physically.  It is generally recognized as physical or sexual abuse that is justified by religious dogma or exercised by religious opportunists.  Religious abuse is connected to human rights abuses. It affects the physical reality of those who are abused as well as those who are perpetuating the abuse.  The physical and emotional trauma caused by religious abuse requires a lifetime of understanding, healing and acceptance.

Spiritual abuse is much more subtle and more difficult to detect than religious abuse.  Similar to emotional abuse, it leaves no physical scars, yet causes a lifetime of fear, depression, mistrust and lack of fulfillment.  Spiritual abuse is found within the religious and organizational beliefs, rather than physical actions.  Spiritual abuse prevents individuals from achieving a true connection to God and accessing genuine spirituality. Through the fear-based teachings of religion, many are unable to access their own true divine worth and potential.  Unlike religious abuse, which affects the physical experience of those affected by the abuse, spiritual abuse causes trauma to the soul.  It affects our life experience, as well as our perception of our eternal experience.  Unlike religious abuse, most individuals who are perpetuating spiritual abuse are completely unaware of the role that they are playing, because they themselves are affected by the abuse.

We cannot truly heal spiritual abuse and religious abuse with the same beliefs that abused us. Recovering from spiritual abuse requires that we first recognize its existence and where it stems from. Learning how to diagnose the fears that have controlled our lives and how to work through them, can be a long and painful process.  Yet that process is well worth the effort.  It requires that we recognize our fears, understand them, and learn to love them.  The process then becomes a tremendously rewarding and liberating experience.  It brings us to understand our true divine worth, our true connection to ourselves and a deeper knowing of Spirit. It brings an inner peace and joy that truly is heaven on earth.


Leave a comment

Arranged Marriage and Sex Trafficking

Curious about the connection between arranged marriage and sex trafficking in today’s world I posted this question on my social media networks. “Is arranged marriage a form of sex trafficking?”  The responses were varied and quite thought provoking.

The institute of marriage was created thousands of years ago as a contract between families. Daughters were traded and bartered with as chattel as part of the marriage agreement and virgins brought a high price. Girls who had lost their virginity, by whatever means, held no value.  In some societies even today, girls are murdered by their families for their loss of virginity.

In ancient times men gifted their daughters to kings and emperors to become wives and concubines, adding to their harems as men collected women like trophies. Gifting their daughters ensured favor in the eyes of the kings and gave young girls an opportunity at a better quality of life, or so it was presumed.

As humanity evolved, marriage became less about ownership and more about business. Sons and daughters were both pawns in their parent’s negotiations to ensure the peaceful existence between kingdoms and the wellbeing of family fortunes and family reputations.

Eventually marriage became about love, which only occurred in the western world in the beginning of the last century. Some argue that love is not a good requisite for marriage and often leads to divorce as love wanes and negative perceptions and judgments take over.

Arranged marriages still exist throughout the world and the reasoning behind it varies from culture to culture. In some cultures the families present all of the benefits of various potential suitors to their children. The decision regarding the marriage arrangement is made by both families as they come to agreement and the children are an active part of the decision making process.

In other cultures arranged marriages are nothing short of sex trafficking. In one particular culture girls are often betrothed at birth and given to men for their pleasure as young as four years old. They are subjected to hiding their bodies in shame for their entire lives, fully controlled by the men who own them, and treated as little more than sex slaves. Other cultures are similar, in that the bartering of girls is common, as men trade their daughters as favors to other men. And there are cultures where men and women take their young daughters to a religious leader for assignment, in the belief that he is spiritually guided. These forms of arranged marriage are not about family kingdoms, reputations, stability or love. This is about sex and control.

This form of sex trafficking is overlooked here in America because it is justified by religion. In America, anything and everything has been justified by religious belief and overlooked because we have become so religiously sensitive. We seem to forget that this is not about adults and their personal relationship choices in their relationship with God. It is about children being manipulated and abused by a system where religious rights supersede human rights.