I am part of an online group titled “Child Friendly Faith.” It is our collaborative goal to bring spiritual abuse into the light and ask that our religions serve us, rather than us serving them. It is our intent to create an environment of faith that is based solely in love and not in fear, and to create an environment that cultivates faith through desire, rather than force. It is my purpose, in association with others, to create an environment that promotes healing from spiritual abuse.
Last weekend I had the opportunity to spend a few days with Jan Heimlich, the creator of Child Friendly Faith and author of “Religious Child Maltreatment”. Jan is a journalist who has taken great pains to research the subject of religion, and when religious beliefs and practices become harmful to children. She takes into consideration that maltreatment it is more than the abuse of children, but also the neglect that often occurs as a result of well-meaning parents whose minds are influenced by their religious leaders.
On Sunday afternoon I watched a presentation Jan was giving to a group of Atheists. Her presentation was shared in collaboration with Bethany, a woman who Jan interviewed for her book. Bethany’s story was heartbreaking as she described the physical abuse that began when she was only six months old at the suggestion of her parent’s minister. Even more heartbreaking was the expectation that Bethany begin beating her baby sister as part of her sisterly responsibilities.
In my own perspective spiritual abuse is more than just physical or sexual assault, it is emotional and psychological as well. Many of the perpetrators are unaware that they are abusing their children because they themselves are being controlled by their religious beliefs. It is not the religion itself that is at fault, but the interpretation and manipulation of those who use it to assert control over its followers. Spiritual abuse causes trauma to the human spirit, and prevents to connection to God that is supposedly the purpose of religion itself.
Following the presentation, several members of the audience asked me what my religious beliefs are. I could not come up with an answer for them. I am not Atheist, although I do not believe in a man-made deity. I believe that infinite intelligence is energy that does not take the physical form of a man (or woman). It simply is that it is. I thought about the word Spiritualist, but that word is already taken by a church. I thought about the word Energist, but that word has been coined as well. I do not like labels and after great internal deliberation over the next few days I came to realize that I am not able to lump myself into a category. There is no name for who I am and what I believe. And then it hit me, I am that I am. I do not need a label, a person or a group to identify me. I simply am.
I have ascended beyond religion, as religion no longer serves a purpose in my life. I do not need to pretend to believe in something for my own comfort or for the comfort of those around me. I no longer live my life based on how others will judge me for my lack of what they perceive as faith. I do not need to cling desperately to the fear that I will be rewarded or imprisoned for my lack of belief after I transition out of this world. Faith for me is not intertwined with religion but a higher understanding of what is possible, a deep knowing that I shape my reality in co-creation with the intelligence of the universe, aka God. Faith for me is an internal connection to Spirit and freedom from fear and doubt. My faith is stronger than it has ever been and is far more powerful without the interruption of religion.
For me, child friendly faith, is teaching our children about their own power and their ability to experience a life that is filled with awe and wonder. It is teaching them that they are the creators of their realities and that they work in creative collaboration with God, in the energy of unconditional love. It is teaching them that they are born in perfection with the potential for greatness; it is raising them up to their own possibilities and showing them the magnificence that each one of us holds within us.
7 thoughts on “Child Friendly Faith”
“It is not the religion itself that is at fault, but the interpretation and manipulation of those who use it to assert control over its followers.”
Great post. I think, though, that sometimes it is simply the religion itself that is at fault, because sometimes I think there’s no individual or group at the top of the religion purposely using it to control people.
Many fundamentalist churches are independent, and the pastors are just as controlled by their religion as the rest of the congregation. They believe it just as sincerely, and it costs them just as much to follow it. In that situation, the religion is behaving as what some people call a meme. The idea itself is controlling everyone.
I am inclined to agree with you. Sometimes I tread lightly not wanting to insult those who still believe in their religions, but the fact is that religion itself is a manipulation and exists as a means of control. Our religions are so old and so entrenched in fear-based dogma that it is nearly impossible for anyone to see clearly. Most of our religions have been manipulated multiple times over the centuries to meet the desires of those at the top. In my own experience with Christian based faiths, most of what The Christ taught is not what Christians really live by. They live in their own understanding of his messages as they have been manipulated and interpreted over the years.
Reblogged this on The Polygamist Daughter's Blog.
I experienced religious abuse as a child and did not reject my Pentecostal fundamentalist Christian upbringing until I got a divorce in my mid-thirties. It was not until I passed 50 that I found Father Leo Booth, who has written and spoken extensively about religious abuse. Now that I am healed, I can embrace the good aspects of my religious upbringing, and there are many! I find many Progressive Christian voices who have awakened, rejected the fundamentalism of their upbringing and are bringing hope and healing to millions. There is even a group called Progressive Christians Uniting. Books I love include John Shelby Spong’s WHY CHRISTIANITY MUST CHANGE OR DIE, Brian McLaren’s EVERYTHING MUST CHANGE: JESUS, GLOBAL CRISES, AND A REVOLUTION OF HOPE, and Bishop Carlton Pearson’s THE GOSPEL OF INCLUSION: REACHING BEYOND RELIGIOUS FUNDAMENTALISM TO THE TRUE LOVE OF GOD AND SELF.
Thank you Carlene. I do know that there are many Christians who are progressive and are finding a higher level of spirituality they did not have access to in their fundamentalist churches. As with all of the systems on our planet, religion is going through an evolution. It is time for religions to rise up to serve us rather than us serving them. Those organizations which refuse to evolve will eventually cease to exist as the fear, abuses and false expectations are brought into the light. Each fundamentalist religion insists that it is the only way to God, but many of us as individuals are seeing that there are many paths to God and many guides along the pathways.
Imagine your surprise when you meet your Father in Heaven!
The God I know does not judge or use fear and intimidation tactics to control humanity. The God I have come to know is pure, absolute, unconditional love. Imagine your surprise when you transition out of physical form and find Infinite Love.