The Polygamist's Daughter

Stories, Reflections and Conclusions of Life on the Inside

Surviving The Great Apocalypse

Here is another snippet from my book Fly, Fly Away. It gives readers a quick glimpse into the reason people are so afraid to leave once they join.

Fear is the greatest controller of the human body, heart, mind and spirit.  

The night following Hannah’s nearly tragic accident we held our weekly Family Home Meeting. Wednesday evenings throughout the community, were reserved for family meetings. Each family spent the evening at home in spiritual study, conversation and prayer. Typically, the subject for our family meetings was apocalyptic prophesies regarding the last days. My father seemed clearly obsessed with the doom and gloom predictions that every prophet since the beginning of recorded history has made about the end of times, and he painstakingly ingrained those stories into our innocent, young, impressionable minds. The dreams of Daniel, Revelations of Isaiah, predictions of Nostradamus, and forecasts of Joseph Smith and other Mormon prophets, and my father’s own interpretations were wrapped up into one end-of-the-world melodrama that was guaranteed to happen in my lifetime. Most definitely before the year 2,000, which was seen by us as the beginning of the seventh day, (each day represented as a thousand years) of earth’s existence, and earth’s very own personal Sabbath. Those predictions were the reason we fled to the mountains, grew our own food, had years of supplies in the basement and guns to protect ourselves from the government and unavoidable intrusion from China, Mexico and Russia.

The apocalypse was upon us at any moment!

The battle of Armageddon and the second coming of Christ, separation of wheat from chaff, (we of course were the wheat), the ascension of only a chosen few and the resurrection of the bodies of Mormon Saints being lifted up and restored to wholeness, was inevitable. World War III and America being attacked from all borders, missionaries rotting in the streets of Jerusalem and pestilence against those who were sinful loomed on our doorstep. The sun turning to darkness and blood running in the streets, wars and rumors of wars, violent earthquakes and all manner of destruction, another planet slamming into ours and tearing of the veil between good and evil, great disease, abominations, and more… were my inevitable destiny. On that great and dreadful day, God would raise his mighty hand, smite the evil-doers and cleanse the earth of sinners and all inequities. Only 144,000 people would survive the great cleansing and baptism by fire. All of the prophesies would then finally be fulfilled. And we, along with those like us, would be the only ones to benefit from God’s wrath upon His children.

These stories led to nightmares that haunted me well into adulthood, until I finally came to understand how many of the prophesies were parables and metaphors, rather than events.

The prophesies are periods of time throughout history rather than one big day. They tell of a time when fear begins to leave the planet and love returns, when the Divine Feminine is resurrected and restored to Her mantle beside the Divine Masculine and equality and harmony are restored to Earth’s children. We are in the midst of it right now and have been for over 50 years. We are all ascending, not just a chosen few. The process isn’t pretty, and we will get there, if we don’t destroy ourselves first.

We are the ones we’ve been waiting for and we are the ones who will save us from ourselves. 

As they say, the pen is mightier than the sword. We can use it as a weapon of mass destruction or use it as a tool for peace.

I am so grateful to be free of the stories that once tormented my soul and kept my spirit captive in fear. Today I am free to see what is possible for ALL of humanity rather than just a supposed chosen few.

Until next time, be Fearless & Free!

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Resurrecting the Divine Feminine

earth goddess

As a child I was taught that Easter was a Pagan holiday and therefore an evil holiday.

We believed that Jesus was born on April 6th. That he died on his 33rd birthday, followed three days later with his mysterious resurrection. Rather than an Easter celebration we had a birthday celebration, with birthday cake and all. It was a celebration of Jesus in his physical life and his promise of eternal life.

Slowly the eggs, bunnies and other “worldly” aspects of Easter sneaked their way into our secluded community. For many years I felt very confused about what bunnies and eggs had to do with The Christ’s resurrection. Long after many families in the community gave up the strictness surrounding the celebration of Pagan holidays, my father was a stickler about it. My first official Easter egg hunt didn’t come until I had kids of my own and a real reason to celebrate. Until recently I did not understand what father meant by “Pagan” and now I finally do.

Knowing what I now know, Easter has a whole new meaning. For me it is a celebration of resurrecting the Divine Feminine.

There is nothing bad or evil about Paganism. What could be so wrong with celebrating our Mother? Why did we feel it so necessary at one point in our human evolution to belittle the Divine Feminine and reduce Her to nothing more than dirt? In reducing Her and all of Her qualities we have nearly destroyed our home. As we created the belief that the God is only masculine, we forgot about our feminine. As we forgot about our Mother we deprived ourselves of really knowing Her unconditional love, compassion and support. And yet, even without Her acknowledgement, She has continued to support us, feed us, clothe us, heal us and love us. She has continued to shower us with Her abundance, even as we bleed Her dry and abuse Her. That is unconditional love of a mother. Unconditional love is not the narcissistic and egotistic love of the Divine Masculine I was raised with.

We now live in an amazing time of our human evolution, when more and more of us are waking up from our dark slumber and rising above our fear-based beliefs.

This is the time of the great resurrection and ascension that has been foretold. It simply doesn’t look the way so many expect it to look. It is the resurrection of the Christ Consciousness. It is the resurrection of unconditional love, that energy that is at the heart of the Divine Feminine. We are restoring the Divine Feminine to Her rightful place in balance and equality with the Divine Masculine, as we now understand that both masculine and feminine are necessary for all creation. As humanity comes together as one family we now see the true value of feminine qualities and propensities. After thousands of years of being put down and treated with worthlessness, true feminine qualities are being restored to their true power. Reminding us that love really is the most powerful force in the universe.

In resurrection the Divine Feminine and Her love-based energies we are restoring balance to the planet. With Her comes the much needed love, compassion, healing, communication, creativity and abundance that is needed to mend and re-create our world.

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The Fall of Man

We are at a time in our collective story when many of us are reinventing, or what I like to call re-creating ourselves. In this re-creation of ourselves we are re-creating our world. I have been invited to share my story at the Women’s Reinvention Summit. I get to share the stage with some amazing messengers who are helping men and women find their true passion and purpose. It’s open to the public so check it out here.


On to the rest of my post.

WARNING! At first appearance this may look like a man bashing post. It is not and you will need to read all the way to the end to understand why. It’s time to put on your big girl panties (or big boy underwear) and grow up.

Okay, now that we are all grown-ups let’s get down to business.

The age of man is over and its time we all get used to it. As the time of Mankind fades away and the time of Humankind emerges, women are coming out of the woodwork and embracing ALL of who we are. We are no longer willing, or able, to be kept behind doors and under wraps.

We are so much more than just the caregivers we have been told for countless centuries is our reason for existence. At the core of every woman is an urge to birth something new within ourselves and for the whole of humanity. It has always been there, for as long as human beings have existed, but in caring for children and homes we have never had the time to care for ourselves, and out of fear we have been unable to follow our gifts and passions. The more children we had the less time we had to think about ourselves and many women resigned to live their lives is woeful sacrifice to everyone else. We were kept barefoot and pregnant on purpose…

In this emergence we are reawakening our gifts, our magic, our original medicine.

Women have always been the holders of spiritual gifts. Our gifts were taken away from us by the masculine uprising that occurred thousands of years ago when humanity lost its balance and we collectively lost our footing. Prior to the rise of man we lived in a sanctuary of peace, in a symbiotic relationship with each other and the earth. That is the true story behind the Garden of Eden. As the masculine rose up he put woman down. He created the God of Man and reduced the Divine Feminine to dirt. There She has waited restlessly until man grew up and we all learned the lesson that both masculine and feminine are necessary for creation and wellbeing.

In the rise of man, feminine gifts were deemed dirty and evil until women were murdered for using their spiritual gifts. Any feminine gifts were seen worthy of keeping alive were claimed by the masculine for their own usage – gifts such as inspiration, healing, writing, painting, designing, music, sensuality…. – all for the glorification of men. If women talked to spirits they were murdered as witches and if men talked to spirits they were dignified as prophets. Women were limited to sharing their talents with other women behind closed doors and forced to give their services for free. Any women who desired to create anything other than babies were shunned and forced to use men’s names if they wanted to openly share their gifts. In these man-made beliefs, God forbid women to share their gifts with the world – and certainly precluded from making money with their gifts.

This belief that women and their gifts are not worthy of money and that money must be feared in the hands of women, has collectedly held women in a position of beneath-ness and less-ness. Until now!

We are coming out from behind closed doors, taking off the layers of wraps end exposing our gifts to the world. We are reclaiming our gifts and using them to heal the damage that has been done to humanity and to our planet in the belief that men rule the world. Mother is coming out and cleaning up the mess the boys have made and freeing Her daughters to work their magic. We are re-creating everything we touch with our gifts as we embrace our ability to connect directly with inspiration – no middle-man necessary. We are making money with love and loving what money has the ability to do in the hands of creative, compassionate, collaborative women.

The true meaning behind “being fruitful and replenishing the earth” has nothing to do with making babies and everything to do with creating trees of life that feed humanity. It mean’s planting our inspired seeds, cultivating our gifts and giving them the freedom to grow and expand, upward and outward as evidence of what is possible. Yes, money does grow on trees, the trees that we plant and nurture with love and as they bloom into magnificent reality. We women are so much more than the caretakers of children; we are the creators of worlds.

Women and money go together like butter and honey.

As this sweet golden deliciousness flows in our our hands we are able to use it for the betterment of ALL of humanity. Without the masculine ego we are able to see clearly the work that needs to be done to heal the earth and create a new reality where true love conquers all. After all, love is the most powerful force in the universe, and it is feminine.

As I said in the beginning that this is not a man-bashing post. It is so important for people to understand that “masculine” and “men” are not synonymous. Masculine is energy while men are men. Every one of us has both masculine and feminine energy, both masculine and feminine qualities, which make up the whole of who we are. The masculine dominance of humanity has also hurt men and prevented men from fully being who they have the ability to be. It fed men with the belief that they needed to control and dominate, and in the need for domination, they have been living lives based in fear rather than love, just as we women have. The emerging feminine allows men to embrace the feminine aspects of who they are and see them as strengths instead of weaknesses. It allows men to hug each other without shame and give money to projects that tug at their heart. It gives men the ability to support woman as women learn how to fly. It also allows women to no longer shun their own feminine aspects as weakness in a world where we have been attempting to be more like men. Embracing the Mother energy found in all of creation provides us with the ability to finally love the WHOLE of who we are. And, the Divine Feminine can finally take Her rightful place in balance and equality with the Divine Masculine, as is should be. I don’t say this to be all woo woo – I’m about as far from religious as you can get without being a complete atheist. How you see God/Goddess is an individual experience and only you know what is true for you.

As we enter this new phase in our evolution we can choose to be part of the solution that helps nurture balance or be part of the resistance.

We can choose to see the beauty of the emerging tree of love, or cling desperately to fundamentalist ways of fear and control. Each of us in our own personal evolution is a part of the greater consciousness. We can try to battle evolution or decide to be part of its magic.

Here is the link again in case you decide to play your part.