The Polygamist's Daughter

Stories, Reflections and Conclusions of Life on the Inside


Leave a comment

Some Day I Am Going to Write a Book

I was seventeen years old when I climbed into the back of a car driven by a teenage boy I barely knew.  On that cold January night while the other passengers slept, I sat staring out the window watching the snow swirl around us as we sped through the Idaho dessert on our way to the promised land of Salt Lake City. Sitting in that car I never intended to go back to The Ranch or ever even look back. For the first time in my life I was free to chart my own destiny and although I had no idea what it looked like, I knew it wasn’t in the one place I had always called home.

For the next five years I struggled to make my way in the world I had been taught my entire life to fear. I attempted to drown my fears and sorrows in anyone and anything that came across my path as I searched for happiness and a sense of purpose. While on the outside I was a happy-go-lucky party girl, on the inside suicide plagued my mind. I lived a meaningless life riddled with shame and guilt, and with resentment toward myself and everyone in my past that had ever hurt me.

In my early twenties synchronicity brought me to learn that my inner turmoil was a result of my past experiences and that I was completely normal considering the trauma I had undergone. My mind began to open to new possibilities as I was introduced to self-help books and I began the process of what I now call self-therapy.

My books became my life saver and I told myself that someday I would write a book and give back to humanity the way that the teachers in my books had given to me. All of those years ago I had a dream of someday being an inspirational teacher to others. As the years went by I forgot about my desire to inspire people and followed the money instead. Just like so many other people do. I had a profitable business, traveled the world with my husband and children and I owned a beautiful home.  It wasn’t until the economy put me out of business that I began to wake up and remember the desire I once had.  My true life purpose began calling to me.

For several years I had been writing a book about my childhood and thought that it was the story that would bring me fame and fortune, but for some reason I could never seem to finish it. Now I know why. It wasn’t the book that had called me to write. The self-improvement book I had promised myself twenty five years earlier that I would write, pushed itself into the forefront. I had completely forgotten about that promise until one of my favorite self-help authors showed up on stage in front of me a few months ago. Then it all came flooding back. The only career I have ever really wanted and the only one that really inspired me was a career that inspired others.

Twenty five years later I am now a published author of the self-help book I said I would someday write. I am now standing on stages and mentoring others on how to find their own happiness and heal the trauma from their past.  I am finally doing the work that called to me so many years earlier and I am loving every minute of it.

So, how did I break through the barrier of “someday I am going to write a book” and actually do it? The push I needed to birth my new life as a published author showed up in my email one day. I don’t know where it came from or how I got on the list, and I said yes. The Transformational Authors Experience literally changed my life in so many ways.

If you have a book within you and you find yourself saying “someday I am going to write”, I highly recommend Christine Kloser’s author program. She only presents this once a year and I have found it so valuable I am doing it again this year.  The other book about my childhood is now finally finished and ready to move into the publishing process. Christine has now become a friend of mine and I can say with complete confidence that her programs make dreams come true. Checkout the Transformational Author Experience.

And if you have a few minutes to spare I recommend checking out my interview with Christine. I was one of only five authors chosen to share our TAE story. Listen to the interview here http://instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=40486098 and then go to the TAE website at click http://tinyurl.com/TAE-Kloser if you want more information on becoming an author yourself.


3 Comments

Christmas in the Commune

When our commune was first established the founding elders agreed that there would be no recognition or celebration of holidays based in Pagan tradition. That included Christmas.

My father referred to Christmas as a “filthy Pagan ritual” and refused to expose his children to its customs. As a child I was far too young to understand the true meaning of either the holiday or my father’s opinion of its formation. Growing up I knew the birth of Jesus was in April and we celebrated his birth each year with great enthusiasm. Aside from a small gift provided by my grandparents, Christmas went by each year with no fan fare or acknowledgement.

As I became an adult and enjoyed the fruits of the real world I fell in love with Christmas. I fell in love with the lights, the music, the food and the energy. But I still had no connection with it in regards to Jesus. It was a Pagan celebration of joy and giving and I was perfectly accepting of that. I was anti-religion and wanted nothing to do with any religious aspect of the holidays. Then I matured and discovered the truth of Spirituality. I rediscovered Christ and his teachings of light. I am not a Christian and have no attachments to the birth of Christ. Although I do celebrate his life and his messages along with the other celebrations during this time of year. I have finally come to understand the true meaning of Christmas and the joyous celebration this season represents.

My father was right about the Pagan foundation of Christmas, although I completely disagree about it being based in evil practices. Religious scholars all agree that Jesus was not born in December, so why did the Catholic Church choose December 25th? It is really quite simple. December 21st is the winter solstice, the day that the promise of light returns each year to our planet. The weeks surrounding the winter solstice have been celebrated for thousands of years, long before the birth of Christ, by cultures all over the world. Regardless of religious, pagan or traditional beliefs this time of year has always been filled with gratitude, joy and celebration. It is a time that celebrates abundance and promises hope for the future. It is a celebration of light.

The Christmas season is not just for Christians but for people of all races, creeds and beliefs to celebrate the harvest, celebrate life’s bounty, celebrate love and yes, celebrate the return of light and hope that accompanies it. The return of light is recognized with many names and rituals, all of which are beautiful and inspiring. Regardless of the tradition they all deserve recognition and celebration. Happy Holidays!

For more information about the true history of Christmas visit the History Channel at http://www.history.com/topics/christmas