The Polygamist's Daughter

Stories, Reflections and Conclusions of Life on the Inside

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Three Magic Words

There was a time in my life that I had such disdain for religion that I could not see spirituality because of my association with it in the context of religion. The words faith, hope and trust were meaningless to me. They were words that were given lip service as a child but held no real value and slipped from my vocabulary as an adult. I associated them only with the God of men that I had been raised with. I wanted nothing to do with that God and the rules I had been taught He expected me to live by. The only faith and trust I had was in myself and eventually my husband.

It was not until I reconnected with myself a few years ago that my eyes began to open to a much greater awareness of the universe and the intelligent energy that I now see as Divine. As I explored my inner truth and recognize the source of inspiration I began to see the magic in the energies of faith, hope and trust. These are not just words uttered from memorized biblical quotes, but they are magic words. Those three seemingly valueless words are the energetic action between ask and receive. The energy created with those words open up the abundance of the universe and feed our intentions. They not limited to religion but align with the magic of creation, spirit and universal intelligence.


Christmas in the Commune

When our commune was first established the founding elders agreed that there would be no recognition or celebration of holidays based in Pagan tradition. That included Christmas.

My father referred to Christmas as a “filthy Pagan ritual” and refused to expose his children to its customs. As a child I was far too young to understand the true meaning of either the holiday or my father’s opinion of its formation. Growing up I knew the birth of Jesus was in April and we celebrated his birth each year with great enthusiasm. Aside from a small gift provided by my grandparents, Christmas went by each year with no fan fare or acknowledgement.

As I became an adult and enjoyed the fruits of the real world I fell in love with Christmas. I fell in love with the lights, the music, the food and the energy. But I still had no connection with it in regards to Jesus. It was a Pagan celebration of joy and giving and I was perfectly accepting of that. I was anti-religion and wanted nothing to do with any religious aspect of the holidays. Then I matured and discovered the truth of Spirituality. I rediscovered Christ and his teachings of light. I am not a Christian and have no attachments to the birth of Christ. Although I do celebrate his life and his messages along with the other celebrations during this time of year. I have finally come to understand the true meaning of Christmas and the joyous celebration this season represents.

My father was right about the Pagan foundation of Christmas, although I completely disagree about it being based in evil practices. Religious scholars all agree that Jesus was not born in December, so why did the Catholic Church choose December 25th? It is really quite simple. December 21st is the winter solstice, the day that the promise of light returns each year to our planet. The weeks surrounding the winter solstice have been celebrated for thousands of years, long before the birth of Christ, by cultures all over the world. Regardless of religious, pagan or traditional beliefs this time of year has always been filled with gratitude, joy and celebration. It is a time that celebrates abundance and promises hope for the future. It is a celebration of light.

The Christmas season is not just for Christians but for people of all races, creeds and beliefs to celebrate the harvest, celebrate life’s bounty, celebrate love and yes, celebrate the return of light and hope that accompanies it. The return of light is recognized with many names and rituals, all of which are beautiful and inspiring. Regardless of the tradition they all deserve recognition and celebration. Happy Holidays!

For more information about the true history of Christmas visit the History Channel at


Facing My Demons

For much of my life I lived in fear. I allowed my mind to be consumed by the irrational fear of the Devil and Hell, a belief that was ingrained in me as a child and maintained tremendous hold over me for many years. Now that I have found my truth and my own power I am no longer afraid of the devil, his demons or going to Hell. They no longer have any control over me. For me, the Devil is that voice in my head that tells me I’m not good enough, that I don’t have what it takes, that I don’t deserve what I want. I choose not to listen to that voice. The demons are those things I have been afraid of; my fear of looking bad, fear of confrontation, fear of being different and fear of failure. I have faced my demons and discovered they were not nearly as frightening as I made them out to be. And Hell for me is not some place out there after I die, it is right here in the blame, anger, guilt and shame I carried with me in my life. I choose to no longer go there. I choose to live a life free of fear. I choose to live a life filled with hope, peace and love. I choose heaven.