The Polygamist's Daughter

Stories, Reflections and Conclusions of Life on the Inside


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Are You Really Free?

WARNING: the following post might cause you to think. 

On July 4th in the United States we celebrate our collective independence from physical oppression. And yet, as physically free as we may be, how many of us are really free?

How many of us are spiritually free?

Spirit for me is synonymous with energy and spiritual freedom is freedom from the energy of fear that stems from fear-based beliefs.  All of our belief systems are driven by fear and based in archaic beliefs that stem from a time before the scientific revolution and the age of enlightenment.  As we collectively evolve in our understanding of science, medicine, mechanics, education, creation and our place in the universe, our belief systems have failed to evolve to follow suit. Until our spiritual understanding evolves to catch up with our physical understanding, we can never have the peace on earth that we all say we want or the freedom from fear that we all seek.

Our present belief systems are based on understandings that were created while humanity was still in its infancy. Our mind’s, hearts and spirits are still confined to beliefs that existed from a time when we believed all creation came from the masculine and the entire universe was created to support this one infinitesimal speck of a planet.  In short, it is time for our beliefs to evolve into a higher understanding of spirit, to understand the true nature of creation and to grasp what love really is.

Love is all there really is and fear is the belief in the absence of and disconnection from love.

We have never been separate from love, aka God, except that our beliefs have made it so.  All of our great spiritual masters, right up to Einstein (who is my favorite spiritual teacher) understood that we are all one with the energy of creation and that love is the most powerful force in the universe. Spiritual freedom occurs when you no longer limit yourself to the beliefs and expectations that others have placed upon you and you fully connect to the love and light that has always existed within you. You simply need to find it within yourself.

When your spirit is free to live in the energy of love all other freedoms become secondary because you understand that you are already free.

Love and light to all of you in your search for truth and freedom.

Victoria Reynolds Signature


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Recovering from Spiritual Abuse

I define religious abuse as physical, sexual and human rights abuses that are justified by religious dogma and religious opportunists. Spiritual abuse is abuse of the human spirit and exists within many of our beliefs in the form of fear, which is often disguised as love. These beliefs prevent us from connecting to ourselves and to Spirit, and prevent us from experiencing unconditional love. These fear-based beliefs result in trauma that manifest in the same way as emotional abuse, leaving individuals who are filled with shame, guilt, resentment and depression. Our beliefs teach us we are born sinners, that we are to be ashamed of ourselves for our actions, that we don’t deserve to be in the presence of God and that we can’t possibly live up to God’s expectations of us, and so on. These beliefs not only traumatize us emotionally, they cause trauma to the soul and affect our beliefs about our soul’s worth.

We are told to believe in an unconditionally loving God, yet in the same token we are given a long list of conditions under which God will love us. We are told that we are separate from God and we are separate from love, and that both need to be painfully earned outside of ourselves through our actions. Most of us have been taught to love each other as God loves us. Our understanding of God’s love is conditional; therefore our love of others is conditional. We have been taught to love each other as we love ourselves, yet fear, guilt, shame, resentment and judgment about our own worth is reflected in the judgments we have toward others. How can we possibly love each other without condition when we don’t have unconditional love for ourselves?

The self-loathing that is induced by our fear-based beliefs causes spiritual trauma.  In order to heal this trauma we must first recognize the difference between spirituality and religion. Spirit is energy, and spirituality is the energetic essence of who we are. Connecting to spirituality is learning to connect to who we really are, deep within the core of our being, and understanding our true self. It is that part of us that is all-knowing and is connected to Infinite Intelligence, not the fear filled beliefs in our mind. Our beliefs are a result of messages we have picked up throughout our lifetime and we assumed were real. Once we learn to analyze our beliefs and see how they resonate deep within us, we can determine which beliefs are in alignment with our inner truth.

Recovering from spiritual abuse can be a long and often painful process because it causes us to reevaluate everything we think we know. As we peel off the layers of fear, face the source of the pain and learn to change our perceptions of our life experiences, the trauma associated with our beliefs begin to lift away. Love is the energy that heals all things and when we face our fears with love and compassion, our fears no longer have any control in our life. Every belief about who we think we are, why we are here and what is expected of us will come under scrutiny. Only when we do the inner work can we truly know our own individual journey, our own unique spiritual experience and our own path.  All transformation must begin within ourselves.

It is my understanding that we have come to a place in our collective evolution where we can comprehend the mind, body and soul connection, and see how soul trauma manifests as physical disease. Just as psychological and emotional abuse leads to physical disease, so does spiritual abuse.  And just as psychotherapy eventually became recognized as a legitimate form of treatment, I feel that spiritual therapy will someday be recognized. While some may claim that this therapy is already being provided at church, there is often a hidden agenda, which is to propagate the very beliefs in which the abuse occurred. We cannot heal the damage to our mind, heart, soul or body by repeating old patterns. As a result of this understanding we will see the emergence of more professionals such as Judith Orloff, M.D. and other enlightened therapists. This emerging field of professionally trained experts can, and will, bring about the healing of humanity, and assist the global transformation from a world based in fear to a world based in love.


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Discovering Gratitude

As a child I knew very little about gratitude or how to express it.  We were not taught the simple expression of “thank you” and the only mention of gratitude was in the meaningless words that were simply lip-service at the many prayer times. I had no real association to a feeling of genuine gratitude for anything in my life. I knew nothing of what it could do for me and its real value. In fact, I did not really understand gratitude until my mid-life breakdown when I discovered it to be the first essential component to rebuilding my life.

I began to discover gratitude at a time when my life was falling apart around me.  Everything I had built in my life was crumbling and I was forced to rethink everything I thought I knew.  I was in such a state of dark depression that my mind slipped into thoughts of suicide.  Out of desperation to save myself and be who I needed to be for my family I began carving out a few minutes each day for me.  The only time I had to myself was at 6:30 each morning and in that precious time I started walking through the quiet streets surrounding my home. In those few minutes each morning I began clearing my mind and reconnecting with myself. And, it was in one early morning sunrise that I discovered gratitude. Gratitude saved my life.

The ability to witness that spectacular sunrise led to my being grateful for eyes to see the sun as it rose above the homes around me, ears to hear the song of birds waking in the nearby trees and a nose to breathe in the smell of flowers. I felt grateful for the strong legs that carried me on my walk and the lungs that filled me with fresh morning air.  In that feeling of gratitude I began to feel a sense of peace about my life that I had not felt in a very long time, if ever.  I began to recognize how gratitude had the ability to shift everything in my life. What began as one small simple feeling of appreciation led to a complete shift in my way of being.

That moment of inspiration began to change how I viewed everything in my life.  I made it a daily and consistent practice to look for gratitude in every experience and every aspect of my life. It was not easy looking at my failures and disappointments with gratitude but I found a way. In my ability to find the good in all things I began attracting more good and more of what was best for me.  I attracted friends I would have otherwise never connected with, I created relationships and opportunities I would have never imagined and I found a deeper and more inspiring reason for my own personal existence.  I found myself and my connection to all that is.

I am grateful, not for any particular thing, but for all things. The gratitude that began as one small insight has now become a way of living and being in absolute joy and fulfillment.

For more insights on gratitude visit: http://iamvictorioustv.wordpress.com/