The Polygamist's Daughter

Stories, Reflections and Conclusions of Life on the Inside


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Ex-Polygamist or Polyamorous Woman Wanted

Yes, you read it right.  I am looking for a woman.

I have been writing this blog for the past five years whenever I feel it tugging at me.  Sometimes I am so inspired that I write more than once a week and sometimes there is a lull of several months.  I write when I feel inspired to write or when something strikes me as so important that I need to write about it. And, I write when I can squeeze it in between other projects and everything that it means to be a wife and mom.

At the beginning of this year I made a commitment to myself to connect with my readers more often and I am now always on the hunt for new content. Part of this commitment is to extend my writing beyond just my own perceptions and include interviews with other people who have experienced polygamy, spiritual abuse and women’s worth issues.

Religiously coerced polygyny I understand. I know far too well the gun that is pointed at women’s heads that forces them to share their husband.  A choice based in duress isn’t much of a choice.  

What I want to understand is why a woman who doesn’t need to share her husband or lover would make that choice. It is a choice based in lack of self-worth?  Does she believe that it’s as good as she is going to find? Did she make the choice out of feeling pressured by someone? Was there a fear-based belief driving the lifestyle choice? What kind of woman would invite another woman into her partnership? What kind of woman would invade someone else’s relationship? How is this any different than swinging? How is it any different than a man having an affair that the wife knows about and willingly allows?

The reason that I am looking for an ex-poly is that I want to understand all sides of the story. I want to know why she chose to engage in the lifestyle and why she chose to exit it. I want someone who is passionate enough about her perspective that she isn’t afraid to spend a few minutes on camera to share her story with you in her own words. Why, because I think all women deserve to know the truth behind the lifestyle choice. And, I think that the world needs to understand the difference between polygamy and polyamory.

The word polygamy has been thrown around lately as the new in buzz word for open relationships. Polygamist relationships and polyamorous relationships are very different things. For starters, one is legal, while the other is not, and for very good reason. 

One last thing. This needs to be a woman who lives in Southern California. Finding someone who lives a secret life has been my biggest hurdle thus far. Ex-polygamists are easy enough to find in Utah but not so much in California. Here in SoCal I suspect the lifestyle and the openness are more prevalent than other parts of the country, the issue is where to begin looking. As far as I know their aren’t any polygamist bars – that’s actually quite the oxymoron considering most polygamists don’t drink. I’m specifically looking for a woman close to home because I would love to spend some real time with her, heart-to-heart, woman-to-woman, talking about women’s worth, love and relationships.

 bonus1I am also offering my Evolve VIP Mentoring Program, a one-one-one coaching program valued at $5,000, to whoever this well-deserving woman is, as compensation for her time and willingness to share on camera.

If this is you or you know someone who is, please send me a personal email to Victoria@VictoriaReynolds.com with the subject line: Ex-Polygamist or Polyamourous Woman Wanted.

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Equality, Freedom and Justice for All

A friend forwarded me this quote from a United Nations report which I find prophetic -” The Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women has stated, in its general recommendation no. 21 on equality in marriage and family life: “Polygamous marriage contravenes a woman’s right to equality with men, and can have such serious emotional and financial consequences for her and her dependents that such marriages ought to be discouraged and prohibited”

It is appalling to me that here in America there are those who are attempting to reverse the rights and equality for women by legalizing polygamy while the rest of the world is moving toward eradicating it.  Have we completely lost our minds? Have we forgotten the women who were burned as witches simply for speaking their opinions? Have we forgotten the women who were imprisoned and starved during the women’s suffrage movement just so that women could have the right to vote? Have we forgotten the city by city fight that led to the Equal Rights Amendment? Have we forgotten the freedoms we fought to achieve? Have we forgotten who we are? The rest of the world looks to us for leadership and as a beacon of hope for what is possible. Let us move past this archaic belief that women are worth less and show the world what is humanly possible. Let us lead the world into equality, freedom and justice for all.

We can have a truly liberated and balanced society where men and women work together with one purpose and one voice in compassion, collaboration and community. Until we see each other as equal we will continue to live in a man-made world with man-made rules and man-made religions. Until we as women see ourselves for our true value and worth we will live with man-made consequences.  This is not about putting men down but lifting women up to their true Divine worth.