The Polygamist's Daughter

Stories, Reflections and Conclusions of Life on the Inside


Here’s The Scoop!

It’s time for a change. I have been managing this blog and sharing my insights for over five years and it is time for an upgrade.

Yes, I did re-brand this website last year so that it matched the branding of my official website but it’s still not enough. Several days ago I had a nice long chat with my brand master Chesley Marie. To me she is the Goddess of branding and website design and she did wonders with my official website. “Honey”, she said to me, “You are trying to run two different brands and you need to decide what your focus is. Is it polygamy or is it self-worth?” Of course, for me, they blend together because polygamy is a self-worth, women’s worth, human rights issue.  That being said, it is time for me to choose where to focus my time, creative energy and personal resources.

Running two brands and managing two blogs, while playing all of the roles that come with being a mom and wife, and still making time to be self-honoring has me a little frazzled. Not having clear, concise focus will do that! Nothing is really getting done to its highest and greatest potential and in the way I envision being of service to you.

Running too many directions consumes so much of my time and creativity that I have been unable to complete the books that all of you have been asking for.

Chelsey was right! It is time for me to put my focus, time, creativity, energy and resources into one brand. Over the next month I will be planning my exit strategy away from the gossip of polygamy and focus on what I really love to write and teach. Polygamy is easy because it is so prevalent in the media and I see it from a unique perspective so I won’t be abandoning it completely, but it isn’t my first love.

My real love is inspiring my readers to live a more loving and fulfilling life that is free from the guilt and constraints of religious dogma and the many misconceptions regarding spirituality.  

Taking my message up a level has been an internal dialogue I’ve been having with myself over the past few years as I wonder if the world is ready for my message. It is out there on the leading edge of thought. From what I see in the world around me the answer is yes. As more and more people choose to leave religion behind and go in search of their own truth, I am here to support them in their journey. My purpose is to help others cross the bridge into moving through life in complete confidence of who they were truly born to be. For me, spirituality is a personal experience and the relationship that one has with oneself rather than a one-size-fits-all belief system. There is no one right way and no middle-man necessary.

Yes, I would have been burned alive as a heretic for saying such things only a few centuries ago, and I suspect that I probably was.

In short, over the next few months I will be dismantling this blog and blending it with my official blog at Victoria Reynolds Blog Of course I will continue to be outspoken about women’s rights, human equality, religious abuse, masculine feminine balance, fear-based beliefs, conscious choice, personal relationships, sexuality, self-love, prosperity, and whatever else strikes me in a moment of intuition and inspiration. It will probably always be a little controversial and that’s okay. Controversy is good because it opens the mind to new ideas, concepts, understanding, personal growth and eventually, our collective evolution. As always, everything I write comes from the heart.

I will also be announcing any upcoming books, speaking engagements, film appearances, product releases and other great ways to stay connected and get the inside scoop.

If you want to get a head start, pop on over to my official site at Sign-up to follow my blog and be sure to grab your free gift on the home page while you are there. Stay tuned here for updates while my official site evolves. I have some really juicy stuff on the horizon that you won’t want to miss!

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What I Think about Polygamy Now

What do I really think about polygamy? Well that has changed over the years from thinking it was something God expected of me, to seeing it as a religious abuse and a human rights abuse against women and everything in between.

Having multiple sex partners and making lots of love sounds fabulous in theory, yet in reality I believe it is sadly missing the most crucial elements for genuine joy. It is important to understand that joy and happiness are two different things. Happiness is an emotion that can be generated in the belief that we are happy. It is generated by the perception of our choices and actions. Some people are perfectly happy in their misery, not realizing that joy is accessible. Joy is a state of being and occurs when we are fulfilled within ourselves and we no longer live our lives by the beliefs and expectations of anyone or anything else outside of ourselves. It is the result of our heart working to its full potential in alignment with our own inner truth.

Back to polygamy. Polygamy stems from a time in our human history when women were owned and collected by men and traded along with other livestock to build the kingdoms of men. King Solomon had hundreds of wives because he was a king with a very wealthy kingdom. Men gave him their daughters to earn favor with the king and in the hopes that their daughters would have a better life.

What does that have to do with today’s polygamy? Polygamy, now (except where polyamory is practiced – the newest hip term for open relationships, and a few ancient cultures where polyandry is practiced) only exists in cultures and belief systems where women are still recognized as being worth less than men and is justified by religion, otherwise recognized as religiously coerced polygyny. Some argue that it should be a person’s choice and yet any choice based in coercion, when there is a proverbial gun held at your head, isn’t really a free-will choice. It is a choice based in fear and is among the fear-based beliefs I often speak of.

Taking it a step further and assuming it is a choice based in freedom, there are still other issues to consider. It is nearly impossible to have a relationship that is balanced in the masculine and feminine when the numbers are lopsided. In a world where we are attempting to create balance and equality, polygamy simply does not make sense. The more women in the relationship the more masculine and authoritarian the man in the relationship is. That is why extremely authoritarian men are drawn to this form of relationship. The practice of polygyny also causes an imbalance among men. Men who are the most desirable attract the most women, leaving ordinary men without partners. Studies have shown that this imbalance increases violence in men and more hatred toward women. Precisely the opposite of the masculine/feminine balance and mutual respect so many of us are working to create.

And one more thought for consideration. Polygamy is heart breaking, or at the very least prevents the heart from working to its full potential. Women must guard their heart and cannot allow themselves to fully and completely love and connect with their husbands, simply because it hurts too much, and lovemaking lacks the creation of love. It also prevents men from opening up their heart and giving to their full ability out of the fear propagating jealousy and resentment between their wives. And yet, this is sold as love and beauty. What kind of love is it when we intentionally block our hearts from loving and creating to their greatest capacity?

In all honesty I don’t think polygamy can work until the world finally recognizes, once and for all, that men and women are equal. That if men can have more than one wife, women should be allowed the same courtesy, and that love can and should be given openly and freely without fear, coercion or jealousy.  It is certainly not my cup of tea, but in a perfect world it just might work. In a perfect world!

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Equality, Freedom and Justice for All

A friend forwarded me this quote from a United Nations report which I find prophetic -” The Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women has stated, in its general recommendation no. 21 on equality in marriage and family life: “Polygamous marriage contravenes a woman’s right to equality with men, and can have such serious emotional and financial consequences for her and her dependents that such marriages ought to be discouraged and prohibited”

It is appalling to me that here in America there are those who are attempting to reverse the rights and equality for women by legalizing polygamy while the rest of the world is moving toward eradicating it.  Have we completely lost our minds? Have we forgotten the women who were burned as witches simply for speaking their opinions? Have we forgotten the women who were imprisoned and starved during the women’s suffrage movement just so that women could have the right to vote? Have we forgotten the city by city fight that led to the Equal Rights Amendment? Have we forgotten the freedoms we fought to achieve? Have we forgotten who we are? The rest of the world looks to us for leadership and as a beacon of hope for what is possible. Let us move past this archaic belief that women are worth less and show the world what is humanly possible. Let us lead the world into equality, freedom and justice for all.

We can have a truly liberated and balanced society where men and women work together with one purpose and one voice in compassion, collaboration and community. Until we see each other as equal we will continue to live in a man-made world with man-made rules and man-made religions. Until we as women see ourselves for our true value and worth we will live with man-made consequences.  This is not about putting men down but lifting women up to their true Divine worth.